Because none of us escapes it

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley

At times I struggle with failure. It is humbling and makes me feel so vulnerable.

Five years ago, I thought I was ready to make a big jump only to fall flat on my face.

After being a high school teacher for 18 years, I got a chance to use my school counseling degree as an elementary school counselor for the next seven years. I enjoyed my time with the littles, but I yearned to work with high school students again.

I was excited when I landed a job with a large metropolitan high school in the counseling department and thought I was ready for the challenge.

Long story short, I wasn’t.

After a semester, I faced up to the fact that I had bit off more than I could chew. I quit in the middle of the school year.

I failed and it hurt, because I had always been a successful educator in the classroom and in the counseling realms.

This failure was new to me, and I figured I was done with education. I turned away from it and placated myself with jobs in retail and reception, because I wasn’t ready to face up to falling flat on my face.

Eventually though, I realized that in order to move forward I had to stop avoiding my failure and do these things.

How to handle failure (because none of us will escape it):

1. First, it’s completely okay to feel the feels. I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and sad. I really thought I was ready for the challenge, and it was hard to accept that I wasn’t.
2. Second, it’s also okay to step away, but it’s not okay to continue avoiding. I told myself I was done with education after 25 years. I told myself I was okay with walking away. Only, I wasn’t. I was avoiding. I thought I would be completely fine working in retail and then being a receptionist. Both of those jobs were good, but they weren’t what I really wanted to do.
3. Third, once you figure out you’re avoiding, dip your toe back into the water. I finally figured out after six months that I wanted to go back to the classroom. I decided to apply for a late summer opening in a school district that was in my top three. As I interviewed for the teaching position, I could feel my blood pumping and I was genuinely excited about the possibility. And you know what? I got the job!
4. Reflect, reflect, reflect. I’m not saying that even if you dip your toe back into the water that it will ending up being what you really want. However, sometimes you need to go back to it and then reflect on how it feels. For me, I made the move to go back to the classroom, and I’m glad that I did. It felt right.
5. And then continue growing. You eventually find your way by continuing to grow and evolve even in the face of failure. And I know this to be true, because I’m going to give school counseling another shot. Why? Because I learned so much about myself and I’m ready.

In conclusion.

Failure is so hard, but it’s also so good, you know. It makes you feel vulnerable and then eventually stronger.

And let’s face it. None of us will every escape failure.

The sooner we realize that, the sooner we can learn from it and move on.

Until next time, be well friends.